Crossmine and Vectress Mary Sue Test

Crossmine and Vectress

The Mary-Sue Litmus Test for Transformers

Found here: tfaurp.proboards.com/thread/87


Some of you might not know, that i actually have my own TF OC called Crossmine and Vectress

Just a brief story of them. Both of them are just a guard on this relatively quiet outpost
in one of the Autobot sector. This is not a story about the war. This is a story about the
chemistry of these two soldiers from when they were first assigned until they become best
buddies. Nothing romance. Crossmine is a soldier, and Vectress is a Scout



I. All About Sue

Is your character named after yourself or your screen name? (+1)
Nope. The name Vectress and Crossmine are from computer algorithm.

Is your character described as beautiful? (+1)
Nope, they are just autobot guards a.k.a. Vehibots ( for lack of better name )

"Unusually" or "astonishingly" beautiful? (+2)
Nope

The most beautiful Transformer who's ever lived? (+3)
Nope

Do the other characters feel intimidated or threatened by her beauty? (+1)
Nope. They are Vehibots. they are mass produced just like Vehicons.

Are her optics an unusual color? (+1)
Nope. just following the standards. Autobots are blue.

Do they change color according to her mood? (+1)
Nope

Does she have long, flowing hair? (+2)
Nope.

Do you describe it on the first page of the story? (+2) (or the first post of the RP?)
Nope. let the story build up the character, not slap it on the audience's face

Do you describe it more than once? (+3)
nope. i built it up little by little ( character development )

Is she a recolored and/or "feminized" version of a canon character? (+1)
Nope. they even slightly simpler than canon character, well, because they're Vehibots.

Is she a Seeker? (+1)
Nope. just security guards on slightly quiet sector on Cybertron.

Do you spend more than two consecutive paragraphs describing her physical appearance? (+1) (character apps don't count)
No. let the artwork do that.

Do you make it a point to mention that she's as tall, or taller, than the average male? (+1)
nope. again they're mass produced

Does she have wings on her butt? (-20 and you're excused from the rest of the test.)
That would be unaerodynamic, so no.

Does she have more than one alt-mode? (+1)
Nope. just one

More than two? (+2)
Nope.

Is her robot mode surprisingly lacking in the "kibble" that would logically be necessary to transform into all these things (because then she wouldn't be as purty)? (+2)
Does she transform via "magic" or some advanced and/or alien technology? (+2)
Nope. Normal Transformation

Is her name a painfully blatant feminization of a canon name, like "Starscreamia" or "Lady Optimus"? (+10)
Nope. as i said, its a computer algorithm


Does she have any of the following abilities:

Telepathy? (+1)
Nope

Teleportation? (+1)
Nope

More powerful than Skywarp's? (+2)
Nope

Super-speed? (+1)
Nope

Faster than Blurr's? (+2)
Nope

Unusually keen senses? (Sight, hearing, smell, etc.) (+1 for each.)
Nope

Telekenesis? (+2)
Nope

"Magical" powers, often vaguely defined or whatever the situation calls for (including magical healing of self or others)? (+2)
Nope

Time-travel under her own power? (+2)
Nope

Control of the weather or other natural elements? (+2)
Nope

The ability to communicate with animals? (+2)
Nope

Precognition or a "sixth sense" regarding imminent danger (including precognitive dreams or visions)? (+2)
Nope

Any ability which no canon TF has ever been shown to have? (+3)
Nope

ALL of the above? (+100 points and kindly never write anything again.)


Is she:

A brilliant scientist and/or inventor? (+1)
Nope. they're just guard.

So brilliant that she effortlessly solves problems that Wheeljack, Ratchet, and/or Perceptor couldn't? (+2)
Nope.

Is she a phenomenally skilled martial artist? (+1)
Nope. they were Trained by standard Cybertronian military technique

In Metallikato? (+2)
What is that ?

In some hitherto-unknown Cybertronian martial art that you just made up? (+3)
Nope

Is she the only female ever to be trained in this art? (+1)
Nope

Is she an incredible sharpshooter? (+1)
Nope

At any distance? (+1)
Nope

With any weapon? (+1)
Nope

If you've made Tech Specs for her:
Are they all sevens and/or eights? (+1)
Nope, Just 2. They can Transform, and shoot laser

Nines and/or tens? (+2)
Nope

Higher than tens? (+5)
Nope




I. We Are Family

Is your character the daughter of a canon character? (+1) (adopted counts)                                
Nope

Is it Starscream? (+1)
Nope

Is it Megatron? (+2)
Nope

Is it Optimus Prime? (+3)
Nope

That your character does not originally know about? (+1)
Nope they were manufactured just like other Soldiers

Because your character's mother (or father) hid her away to "protect" her from something? (+2)
Nope

Is your character the sister of a canon character? (+1)
Nope

Is it Megatron? (+2)
Nope

Is it Optimus Prime? (+1)
Nope

Is it Starscream? (+3)
Nope

Does she have a twin of the same gender? (+1)
Well, as i said they are manufactured, so basically, all of them are twins. XD +1

Of the opposite gender? (+2)
Nope

Do they communicate telepathically? (+3)
Nope

Is she the product of a tragically doomed romance between an Autobot and a Decepticon? (+1)
Nope


III. Origin of the Species

Was your character on board the Ark or the Nemesis? (+1)
Nope. They saw fly above, but never enter it

Is she part-alien or part- any other non-TF creature? (+1)
Nope

Is she a non-Cybertronian mechanoid who joined the TFs for whatever reason? (+1)
Nope

Is she a human who was turned into a TF? (+2)
Nope

No beating about the bush: is she you turned into a TF? (+3)
Nope.

Do you secretly believe that this is really going to happen some day? (+5)
Nope.

Seriously, though? (+10)
Nope

Is she an alien (organic) who was turned into a TF? (+1)
Nope


For any of the above: does she become a TF:

Because she was badly injured by/because of a TF and this was the only way they could save her life? (+1)
Nope

Because she wanted to Join In the Fight Against Evil? (+1)
Nope

Because Megatron (or Galvatron or whoever) had the idea to turn humans into Decepticons and use them against the Autobots? (+1)
Nope

Because she was in love with a TF and this was the only way they could be together? (+2)
Nope

Due to a Convenient Unexplained Phenomenon (a dimensional portal, an energy bolt from space, etc.)? (+2)
Nope

For Mysterious Reasons of Her Own? (+2)
Nope

Because she wanted revenge on an annoying ex-boyfriend? (-100 points and please send me the story.)
Nope

Is she a member of a hitherto-unknown "third race" that fled Cybertron during the Great War? (+2)
Nope

Is she royalty of any kind? (+2)
Nope, they were just pawns in Cybetronian war

That she does not originally know about? (+3)
Nope

Is she a member of a non-allied mercenary group that Plays By Their Own Rules and Answers To No One? (+3)
Nope

Is she the leader? (+1)
Nope

Is this group made up of stunningly beautiful and incredibly dangerous femmebots? (+1)
Nope

Are they Feared and Respected Throughout the Galaxy? (+1)
Nope

Do they have their own spaceship? (+1)
Nope. they are assigned to that particular sector and stay there.

Or did your character presumably come about in a perfectly ordinary way, because you don't feel her origins are worth going on about? (-30 and thank you, thank you, thank you.)

Yes. Im not big on telling convoluted backstory. They are Autobot soldier, and they are manufactured, and that's that. This is a story not about the war, but about the chemistry and camaraderie of two Autobot soldier during the war



IV. All You Need Is Love

Does your character fall in love with a canon character? (+1)
Nope.

Is it Optimus Prime? (+1)
Nope

Is it Megatron? (+2)
Nope

Is it Starscream? (+3)
Nope

Does she fall in love with someone from an opposing faction? (+1)
Nope

From a different continuity? (i.e. an Autobot and a Maximal)? (+2)
Nope

From an opposing faction AND a different continuity? (i.e. an Autobot and a Vehicon)? (+3)
Nope

Did they fall in love within days of meeting each other? (+1)
Nope

Did they fall in love At First Sight or The Moment Their Eyes Met? (+2)
Nope

Do they defy anyone's direct orders to be together? (+1)
Nope

Does one of them defect from their faction so they can be together? (+1)
Nope

Do they BOTH defect from their factions so they can be together? (+2)
Nope

Do canon characters fight (or otherwise compete) for her affections? (+1)
Nope

Does she "reform" a thought-to-be-irredeemably-evil character through The Power of Her Love? (+100 and pass me the Pepto-Bismol.)
Nope

Does your character have sex with the object of her affections? (+1)
Nope

More than once? (+2)
Nope

That you describe in point-by-point detail? (+1)
Nope

For more than two consecutive pages? (+3)
Nope


Is it a life-altering experience for her? (+1)
Nope

For him? (+1)
Nope

Do one or both of them cry afterwards because it was so beautiful? (+1)
Nope

Did you cry afterwards because it was so beautiful? (+2)
Nope

Do they get married? (+1)
Nope

Do you describe the wedding ceremony? (+1)
Nope

For more than two consecutive pages? (+2)
Nope

Including giving the name of every single character who was invited? (+3)
Nope

Is the wedding attended by members of opposing factions, because they decided to set aside their differences in order to share in the joy of this wondrous event? (+20)
Does this wedding ceremony bear an astonishing similarity to a late 20th/early 21st century American middle-class Christian wedding, complete with vows, veil, and bouquet, despite the fact that this is far from the only type of wedding ceremony that exists (or has ever existed) on Earth, so to expect giant robots from outer space to use this exact same ritual is PATENTLY ABSURD?!?!?! (Sorry.) (+50)
Nope

Do they have a child together? (+1)
Nope

More than one? (+2)
Nope

More than three? (+4)
Nope

Are any of them twins? (+5)
Nope

With telepathic powers? (+6)
Nope


V. It's a Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad World

Is your character an orphan? (+1)
Nope

Were her parents killed in an attack by the opposing faction? (+1)
Nope

In an attack by pirates, mercenaries, an alien invasion, or anything other than a canon TF faction? (+2)
Nope

Did this attack destroy her entire city or colony? (+2)
Nope

Her entire world? (+3)
Nope

As a result of this attack, was she Left Alone To Fend For Herself In a Cruel Uncaring Universe? (+1)
Nope

Was she Forced To Do Terrible Things To Survive? (+1)
Nope

That she deeply regretted doing, because deep down inside she was still a good and kind individual? (+1)
Nope


At any point in your character's history:

Was she kidnapped? (+1)
Nope

Was she sexually assaulted? (+2)
Nope

By more than one individual? (+3)
Nope

By a canon character? (+100 points and shame on you.)
Nope

Was she forced into slavery? (+2)
Nope

Was it sexual in nature? (+5)
Nope

Was she captured by the opposing faction or other evil persons? (+1)
Nope

Was she tortured? (+1)
Nope

Was her mind forcibly read by a telepath or some kind of evil brain-scanning device? (+1)
Nope

Was her mind altered in any way (false memories implanted, brainwashed into betraying her faction, etc.)? (+1)
Nope

Did she swear revenge on a particular group or faction as a result of Her Tragic Experience (whatever it was)? (+1)
Nope

Did she swear revenge on a particular individual? (+1)\
Nope

Did she change her name, upgrade her body configuration, or otherwise alter herself in any way because of it? (+2)
Nope

At any point in her history, does she change factions? (Going from Neutral to a named faction, or vice-versa, counts.) (+1)
Nope

Does she change factions more than once? (+2)
Nope

More than twice? (+3)
Nope

Do the other characters get so sick of her faction-swapping that they finally just haul off and shoot her? (-50)
Nope

Is she insane, or suspected of being insane? (+1)\
Nope

Does she experience flashbacks or other mental lapses? (+1)\
Nope

Does she suffer from a pathological phobia of clowns? (-20)
Nope


VI. Don't Fear the Reaper

Does your character die? (+1)
Nope

Does she sacrifice herself to save the object of her affections? (+2)
No either one will try to go through this together.

To save her entire faction? (+3)
Nope

To save Cybertron and/or Earth? (+4)
Nope

To save the galaxy? (+5)
Nope

To save the entire universe/multiverse/space-time continuum? (+10)
Nope

Does she repair a time paradox by dying? (+2)
Nope

Does she cause one? (+2)
Nope

Is her death witnessed by five or more canon characters? (+1)
Nope

Do any of them cry? (+1)
Nope

Does anyone shout "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" at any point? (number of O's and exclamation points may vary.) (+2)
Nope

Is it more than two paragraphs long? (+2)
Nope

More than two pages long? (+3)
Nope

Does she sing "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" in a loud, bellowing voice? (-10)
Nope

Do you describe her funeral? (+1)
Nope

Is it awfully similar to an Earth-type funeral? (See the question about weddings.) (+2)
Nope

Do the attendees make moving speeches about how wonderful she was and what a difference she made in their lives? (+3)
Nope

Are these speeches more than two paragraphs long? (+4)
Nope

More than two pages long? (+5)
Nope

Does anyone break down and cry in the middle of their speech? (+5)
Nope

Did you cry while you were writing it? (+5)
Nope

During the funeral, does she come lurching out of her coffin as a hideously decomposed cannibal zombie and massacre everybody in sight? (-20) (Well, I'd like to see that.)
Nope

Did she leave a will or any kind of last message? (+1)
Nope

Does it begin with an "If you're reading this/seeing this, it means I'm dead" sort of thing? (+1)
Nope

Does everyone think she died, but she actually didn't? (+3)
Nope

Does she actually die, but somehow come back to life at the end of the story? (+4)
Nope

Will she come back to life in a subsequent story? (+3)
Nope

In which you blatantly contradict and/or ignore the events of the current one? (+20)
Nope

Does someone else sacrifice him- or herself to restore your character to life? (+2)
Nope

Does the object of her affections bring her back to life solely through the Power of Their Love? (+50 and you're determined to kill me, aren't you?)
Nope

Does she die and get resurrected more than once? (+2)
Nope

More than twice? (+3)
Nope

More than Optimus Prime? (Never mind, that's not possible.)
Nope


VII. And, In the End...


Have you written (or are you planning to write) more than one story centered around this character? (+1)
Nope

More than two? (+2)
Nope

More than three? (+3)
Nope

Do you ONLY write stories centered around this character? (+10)
Nope

Have you altered the canon in any way to favor her (i.e., changed the plot of an episode, re-written the Movie so a character doesn't die, etc.)? (+1)
Nope. It doesnt have anything to do with the canon. The canon still run normally meanwhile these two were on this one quiet security outpost

Has she appeared in more than one continuity? (G1, BW, etc.) (+1)
Nope

More than two? (+2)
Nope

More than three? (+3)
Nope

As soon as you hear of a new TF continuity coming out, do you immediately start thinking of how you can involve your character in it? (+5)
Nope

Do you get cheesed off when readers don't adore and worship your character? (+3)
Nope

Do you resent the suggestion that stories based around your fanchars are not as interesting to other people as they are to you? (+5)
Nope

And finally, while taking this test, did you feel periodic stings of recognition, flashes of annoyance, a temptation to say, "So what's wrong with THAT?" or "You're making fun of ME, aren't you?!" etc. etc. etc.? (+1 for each time this happens.)
Nope


Scoring:

I got minus/negative 29.



A negative number: What are you still taking this test for? Go write!

0 to 15: Ehh, it's pretty hard to avoid everything on this list. Don't worry about it.

16 to 30: A few Mary Sue tendencies creeping in. Might want to re-think a few things so people don't start making fun of you. <- where I am and I will stay!

31 to 45: Definite Sue-ishness. Do some honest self-criticism and see if you can't make the character more interesting.

46 to 60: Warning! Mary Sue in progress! Re-think this character immediately and don't write another fic about her till you do!

61 or higher: Please remain where you are. An actual competent writer will be along shortly to take away your computer and/or break your fingers. Thank you